I have a real treat for everyone today: my wonderful friend Brad has brought to my attention this excellent, ridiculous document that is made superlative by the fact that it's completely true. Brad has a knack for identifying sad, insane, hilarious internet items ripe for a WTF Wednesday feature; in fact, a suggestion of his was responsible for the very first WTF Wednesday ever!
This time, he bring us a compilation of informal complaints against Saturday Night Live collected from 2008 through the present. These complaints are the fruit of a request by a website called Government Attic under the Freedom of Information Act. Much of the document is excellent comedy fodder, but since it's very lengthy and some of you have jobs I'm going to excerpt some of my favorites below. (Note, if you can't read any of them, just click the image and it will make it larger for you. You Grandmas.)
I think that's exactly the point SNL is trying to make:
I'm not entirely sure this is actually a complaint about Saturday Night Live. Or about an actual television. This guy may just live in a racist neighborhood:
There were a large handful of Complaints relating to Jamie Foxx's December 9, 2012, monologue where he promoted Django Unchained and bragged about how great it was that he got to "kill all the white people" in the movie. Many of them were funny, but this one was the best because of its totally reasonable request in the last line. I'm pretty sure that's exactly the correct remedy.
NBC is singlehandedly responsible for the degenerating morals of 'Merica!
I'm so confused about this one. Is Comedy Central the name of your therapist? Is the television talking to you directly? You're angry because Joseph Gordon Levitt happens to share a first name with a guy whose last name you don't know? Also, what??!?
You've got to appreciate this adult 58 years of age's honesty. At a certain age, you know what you like, how much you want to pay for it, and where you want to find it:
(Also, the 58 year-old got Lorne Michaels' name wrong in a pretty racist way. I think his brain just went "Dear Lorne [Jew Name],")
This next one is a clip of about half of the full rant, but I feel like it does the author's sentiment justice:
By far the longest series of complaints from people who were "horrified" and "deeply offended" and shocked right down onto their fainting couches when they heard Jenny Slate accidentally say the f-word on a sketch. Slate's gaffe slipped by censors in the east-coast taping of the show, probably because it was part of a sketch that called for the repeated use of "friggin" to play on the cast member's inability to say the real f-word. (It was Slate's very first episode, by the way.) Many, many very delicate flower-people whose tender, gentle ears began to bleed when they heard a word they had never heard before wrote in and called for Slate to be fired immediately over this travesty. Fearing the imminent shattering of their pure, dainty, gossamer butterfly-wing sensibilities, some people demanded that SNL be cancelled altogether over this insurmountable horror. One poor, helpless victim wrote, "it's bad enough that you allow 'FRIKEN/FREAKEN' on shows now," and one morally outraged soul went so far as to call Lorne Michaels an "anathema."
Through this ridiculousness, there was one lovely refreshing comment:
(Slate (who is hilarious) was fired from SNL over the incident. So, she was fired for slipping up and saying a word that some complainers even used in their grievances to SNL about the word. I hope none of these people get HBO! Boo, 'merica.)
This last "complaint" may be a lesson to the sane among us: despite the foregoing evidence to the contrary, you don't have to be a completely misguided, humorless lunatic to write the FCC! You can write to them on behalf of yourself and reasonable people everywhere to say, "it was just the f-word" or "this show is on late at night," or "whatever!" You could even say something like,
"I realize network television shows are not allowed to use certain prohibited language and this live-television blooper is an embarrassing mistake that offended me and my 6 year-old whom I inexplicably allow to be awake at midnight on a Saturday and also watch Lonely Island sketches about gift-wrapped male genitalia without complaint, so therefore I believe an FCC fine is appropriate but a pitchfork-weilding mob calling for the termination of the ingenue who slipped up is probably an extreme reaction."Because, that would make more sense than calling Lorne Jewberg an anathema and demanding that a sketch comedy show called Saturday NIGHT LIVE that airs both AT NIGHT and LIVE and that has been on the air for THIRTY SEVEN YEARS be cancelled outright over a slipped curse word! YOU ARE AN ANATHEMA! WHATEVER THAT MEANS!
Also, I hope you find the Joseph who had sex with your mom.