Sunday, January 31, 2010

Tyrannosaurus Wrecked

Dinosaurs are awesome. In fact, they are such badasses that they keep coming up in the news even though they were killed by a meteor a bazillion years ago (Baptists read: by God exactly 6,000 years ago). For example:

2/01: China is bogarting our dinosaurs. Apparently Communist China thinks the rest of the world should have to stop discovering dinosaur fossils because now it's China's turn. So China gets to be the world leader in prehistoric excavations. Or at least that's what Chinese Google says.

1/28: Scientists finally know what color dinosaurs were. Scientists think some dinos had red mohawks.  Now, before you freak out, keep in mind that that the dino being discussed in the article is a tiny, feathered little punk called the Sinosauropteryx, not one of the cool ones. We all know none of the really cool dinosaurs were gingers.

1/21: Dino Death Pits.  A bunch of little dinosaur skeletons were found literally stomped into the ground inside the giant footprints of "the massive sauropod dinosaur Mamenchisaurus," who was certainly NOT a ginger.

But we all know the only things MORE AWESOME than regular dinosaurs are DINOSAURS FIGHTING.  The History Channel used to have this show with the most ballin' name ever: "Jurassic Fight Club."  But, despite sounding like it would be a bunch of sweet prehistoric cock-fights, it was actually kind of lame. (So lame, in fact, that when it was re-broadcast in the U.K. they renamed it "Dinosaur Secrets," which sounds like the mom from that old T.G.I.F. show "Dinosaurs!" finally left her fat slob of a dino-husband and moved to Wisteria Lane.)



Fortunately, even though the show got mediocre reviews, the History Channel website features an interactive dino-fighting game called "Turf Wars" where you can make your own animated dinos fight each other. ALL DAY.

And because this blog is more awesome than the History Channel, here are some sweet pictures of dinosaurs fighting:





 

(Yes that's Jesus fighting a dinosaur...with Excalibur. And yes, it's an actual photo of Jesus.) 


Wow that last one was scary! So awesome. And I LOVE Jeff Goldblum's Transitions (R) Lenses.

As a final note, I'd like to give a shout out to the people at The Animal Review. It's a consistently hilarious blog that just got a book deal (cross your fingers, my ONE follower - it could happen!) to write scathing, pop-culture-laden reviews of ridiculous animals.  Check it out.

1 comment:

  1. A.... a video game... where you make dinosaurs fight? On a domain name that is encouraged at my place of work?

    Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. Any potential productivity I had from now until forever just flew out the window. On the back of a pteryodactyl that's going to fight a velociraptor. BAM!

    P.S. Your Salinger post was great. Just not as great as dinosaurs fighting.

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